I wake up every morning wondering what I can photograph that day. The kids making breakfast, our family on a hike or a walk, the flowers in the front yard, or maybe a cute bath time photo shoot. Whatever it is, I make it a point to pick up my camera and feel the weight of it in my hands, the strap around my neck and that button beneath my finger. To feel the dial turn as I change settings, hear the shuttering sounds with every click and capture. I itch for a moment to sit down in front of my computer with new images to edit. I often lose myself in the rabbit hole that is editing. Why, because I am an artist. I am a photographer. To the bone, to the depths of my soul. This is my career choice, this is my love, this is my niche, my calm point, my peace.
I have had to get creative lately to find things to fill this love and passion of mine because our world is currently in shambles. I have barely allowed myself time to actually sit and process what this means to me and for me. I find myself scrolling through my FB posts and pulling up old galleries just to see my past work and hopefully get lost there again. Why, because I miss it. Oh, I miss it so dearly. Because I am an artist, I am a photographer. And now, I have been told I can not do what I thrive doing. I am not essential. I because of that, I grieve.
I am grieving more than just something to do. I am grieving what became a huge part of my routine. During this time, we are all experiencing grief in some form. While I am absolutely thankful for the steps being taken to help with what is going on in the world, I, like so many others, are still hurting because we are forced to stop something that we love. Our passion and fire has become kindling or small flames. Whether we are hair dressers, nail artists, makeup artists, bakers, real estate agents, car salesman, teachers, or any other profession deemed non essential, we are waiting until the day we can book those clients, open our doors, and do what we love once again.
I also grieve for our nation as a whole because of everyone who has lost someone or has a sick loved one, or is sick themselves, for those who don't know what tomorrow holds for their health or career, for those businesses who were forced to close permanently and for myself who is at a loss momentarily just missing the interaction and connections I had with each and every client. I miss you. Your smiling faces, the laughs we shared. I miss capturing your memories. I miss hearing how much you love your images or how they brought you to tears. Just as you are hurting at the loss of being able to have special pictures taken of those priceless moments in your life, as your photographer, I am hurting too.
Luckily, this is not permanent. And when we come out on the other side, we will have a stronger appreciation for those moments. Even the little ones. And I will be here helping you document all of your memories. Chelsea Mackey Photography will be ready to capture those moments in between, where the laughter is real and the love is strong.
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